The Top Five Coolest Eagle Scouts

1. David Lynch
2. Stephen Spielberg
3. Michael Moore
4. Harry Knowles
5. and this guy.


22 thoughts on “The Top Five Coolest Eagle Scouts

  1. I think the radiation guy has a mental illness. I’m guessing that he needs to see a psychiatrist more than he needs to get his radition levels checked out. That damage is already done. Is there anything they could even do to treat his previous exposure?

    But if the guy is stealing smoke detectors to get his fix then he needs help.

  2. Philo T. Farnsworth, Steve Fosset and Neil Armstrong are cooler than at least three of your choices.

    How can you possibly list a hobosexual in your top five?

  3. Well, frankly, hobosexuals are cool. Why do I need to explain this?

    And no, no love for Hubbard, Perot, or Walton.

    I have a little bit of love for Kinsey and Ferlinghetti, also eagle scouts, but the radioactive guy beat them out. Sorry.

  4. arJ, I mean both! But Michael Moore is more often associated with that…er…lifestyle.

    Brian G, I’m not exactly listing metrosexuals here, but clearly the manly vocation of Neil Armstrong and the daring avocations of Steve Fosset are ‘cooler’ than inadvertently covering yourself in radioactive meth-head-type sores while endangering your entire city.

  5. Yes, but meth-head-type sores are very fashionable in some circles.

    Sometimes though, it’s a challenge to get your ties to match.

  6. Fitting, perhaps, that the radioactive boy scout’s nuclear waste ended up getting shipped to Utah for storage.

    Notably missed on this top five:
    Michael Dukakis
    Mark Hoffman (described on the Wiki list as “forger and murderer”
    Wynton Marsalis
    Ray Suarez

    Notable non-Eagles:

  7. BTW – if you’ve ever read the book, you do get the impression that the radioactive guy may have had some mental problems. At minimum Asperger’s Syndrome. But probably OCD as well. If those sores are from radiation and not just meth then the guy has some serious issues and probably is already suffering from cancer.

    On the other hand back before 911 it was pretty typical that science type geeks would make explosives, play with radiation etc. I won’t tell you how much uranium we had in my home when I was a kid…

    Reminds me of a verified story I heard of a certain chemistry student (who later became a professor where I went to school) who decided for reasons that don’t make a lot of sense to see if he could make nerve gas. He did and, of course, dropped it. He managed to get an antidote in time but got in a heap of trouble. (At the school I went to I’m sure he’d at best have been expelled – someone in our department got expelled after chloroforming a cat and leaving it in a bell tower – and the dean found out about our efforts to take over the national anthem played on campus and replace it with twist and shout… Fortunately he liked us.)

  8. Marion Berry, *Just say Yo! to drugs.* Former DC mayor convicted of drugs.

    Dave Foreman, founder of the radical environmental group Earth First.

    John Tesh, hack musician.

  9. Wynton Marsalis can crack the top five. Philo T. Farnsworth is right up there.

    Astronauts? Please.

    I’m looking for people that are so cool they can even make being an Eagle Scout cool. That’s a lot of cool. Cool plus.

  10. If Neil Armstrong is not cool enough, I don’t know who is.

    Definitely Wynton Marsalis. Definitely not Michael Dukakis.

  11. Clark,

    Please tell me that your crazy chem prof also invented a “floating rubber” substance and despite the efforts of the dean used it to save the school.

  12. Nope. But on the bright side he didn’t die of nerve gas poisoning even though the nurse was wondering what was up when he forced he way past her to get the (never used) antidote)

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