I’m Unthankful for . . .

Time to exorcise those demons of unthankfulness so that tomorrow we can concentrate on giving thanks.  You know there are those pop cultural hitches in your giddy-up, sticks in your craw, gypsies in the grill of your Hummer, etc. that are bringing you down.  So let’s have ’em.  Demons out!

I’ll start:

I’m not thankful for . . .

People who overstate the significance of Borat.  This isn’t a great commentary on bigotry in America.  It’s funny.  Isn’t that enough?

Jessica Simpson.  Nuff said.

Ludacris’s song and acting on SNL last week.  Dude, don’t sing about rape and child abuse.  You haven’t earned it.  And don’t bring out Mary J. Blige to belt a tired, two-word, melisma-drenched  chorus in the midst of your exploitative song.  And be more funny.

Geico’s newest batch of commercials, the “We hired an actor . . .” ones.  Geico’s been consistently pretty decent at making humorous commercials.  The caveman series has been great and some of the “I have good news . . .” ones have been funny the first few times.  The new ones do nothing for me.

I’ve got so many more.  But I’ll leave it at that for now.  Oh, and feel free to take exception to my unthankfulness.

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21 thoughts on “I’m Unthankful for . . .

  1. Jenny Lewis of Rilo Kiley. I haven’t quite figured out why I hate her so much. She’s pretty much just an unassuming indie rock chick, but danged if she doesn’t bug the bejeebers out of me.

  2. I am most ungrateful for prime time TV game shows on NBC: Fear Factor, Deal or No Deal, Biggest Loser. I hatessss them, my preciousssss.

    On the other hand, I am grateful for CBS prime time game shows: Survivor, Amazing Race. Huzzah!

  3. I’m ungrateful for:

    drivers who don’t know how to merge.

    Rush Limbaugh

    Paris Hilton

    construction noise (my library is undergoing a remodel)

    Tom Cruise

    rude fellow shoppers

  4. TV Shows like Entertainment Tonight and Extra

    Dancing with the D-List Stars

    Teenage boys who wear their pants below their Ass

    Teenage girls who expose their fat bellies

    The glamorized hedonism of Rap videos and much of the Rapper lifestyle in general

    How it is considered politically incorrect to even think, let alone say the previous statement

    Loudmouth wide receivers like Terrell Owens, Keyshawn Johnson, and Randy Moss

    Chris Kaman’s hair

    The price of gasoline

    When I set my DVR to record a show but NBC changes the start or stop time 5-10 minutes before or after the top or bottom of the hour causing me to miss the final 15 minutes or so of last week’s The Office

    People who bring a bag of chips or some such bagged product to the movie theatre and keep digging their hand into the bag, one chip at a time, causing an extremely annoying crinkle-plastic-bag sound during the first 30 minutes of a movie

    People who think Cameron Diaz is pretty

    Cantelope

    SPAM, internet viruses, spyware, etc.

  5. I’m ungrateful for:

    Gary Busey – the guy’s just uber-creepy

    That one old lady in church who gives a 17 minute “testimony” about what her grandkids are doing now.

    People who take 15 minutes to pump gas at Costco. It should take no more than 4 minutes, people.

    That guy who double parked me at the mall this week…you know who you are…

    Whoever decided to cancel the formal company Christmas party this year and have a breakfast at Costco instead.

  6. Robert Christgau and all other self-important music critics.

    Fergie is so gross. I’ve never been able to look directly at her.

    My beef with the primetime gameshows is the boob factor. There’s no reason the Deal or No Deal briefcases need to be held by busty models. It could be a freakin’ electronic screen. Fear Factor and the new Shatner one, Show Me the Money, are also guilty of boobsploitation.

  7. Ungrateful for:

    Marshmallows on vegetables- any vegetable. Well, really, marshmallows in general…Uck.

    Lt. Horatio Caine, and his posse.

    Reality TV, except for Project Runway. Never seen Survivor, never seen Amazing Race, never need Howie Mandell in anything, thank heavens!

    With you on the Catelope. And Watermelon, too.

    People who wear their sunglasses at night. Unless you’re Cory Hart and it’s 1989, forget it.

    People with no kids or only one mellow kid who think they know everything about parenting, and dispense advice accordingly.

    Rachel Ray

    People who don’t know basic history, or the difference between “There”, “Their”, and “They’re”. Grrr….

    I suppose that’s enough…

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

  8. People who pack the back window of their car with beanie babies

    Dogs in sweaters

    Sentences that start with “No offense, but…”

  9. People with no kids or only one mellow kid who think they know everything about parenting, and dispense advice accordingly.

    How ’bout when those people are the checker at the grocery store and think you care about their opinion? I’m unthankful for their opinion.

    Incidentally, Tracy, we just found out that our family is going to be similar to yours, if I remember right: two rambunctious monkeys close in age and a daughter after a bit of a gap (the daughter’s coming in April).

    Now, back to the task at hand,

    Gray’s Anatomy. Desperate Housewives. Desperate middle-adged actresses trying not to age.

  10. Conservative radio in general.

    Sinky dishrags

    Cable News (for the most part) – There is just something really annoying about Anderson Cooper, that Tucker guy – anyone on Fox News… though Keith Olbermann is wonderful.

    Most bumperstickers – or anyone in general who wear their politics on their sleeve…

    Pamela Anderson, most top 40 pop music, that Killers lead singer drives me nuts too!

  11. I am ungrateful:

    • that I am working on Thanksgiving and our Thanksgiving celebration will be held after school in a stinky teacher’s lounge.

    • that so many People magazines have jennifer or brittany on the cover

    • 90% of my music on the other side of the world from me and it’s really hard to make a good mix tape when I don’t have access to my records/CDs!

  12. People who call on the phone and the first thing they ask is ‘What are you doing?’–just get to the point and say why you called, please. Also, people who leave a message on your answering machine saying they’ll call you later–either state why you called in the message, or don’t leave a message at all.

    Actually, I’m just unthankful for phones in general.

    Long hiatus for shows like LOST, Big Love and Prison Break (though Prison Break’s was shortened to the end of January–yay!)

  13. oh, i’m so with you on rachael ray. my husband is trying to convince me to name our soon-to-be baby girl rachel rae. um, pass? we don’t even have television and the woman has managed to creep into our lives, ick.

    speaking of phone calls, people who call you and ask, “who’s this?” uh, you called me. who are YOU?!

  14. #8 Jessie we must be in the same ward!!

    I’m ungrateful for reusable clothing and the mass amounts of laundry it causes. Shouldn’t we have disposable clothes by now?

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