A good joke

I don’t know that there’s ever been a joke thread on this blog, but I’m in the mood for a few good jokes to get me through Friday.  I’ll kick it off …

A dyslexic man walks into a bra …

Happy Friday!

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18 thoughts on “A good joke

  1. I posted this on Allison’s blog, but no one laughed, so I’ll try here:

    What do you call a teacher who’s too shy to fart in public?

    A private tutor.

    (via A Prairie Home Companion)

  2. Hey, that’s pretty funny. Did we ever tell you that Dad made mom cry once for interrupting a meal with scatalogical humor? Mom refused us meals for a week. It was bacon from Jack’s 99 cent store for a week.

  3. Yes, I tell that story often, even though I wasn’t there. Wasn’t the back-breaking straw the fact that Dad told the joke in Japanese so she wouldn’t understand it?

  4. Two nuns walked into a bar, which was funny because you’d have thought the second one would’ve seen it coming.

  5. All I know are kid jokes.

    Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
    Because he was feeling crumby.

    What is a caterpillar afraid of?
    A dogerpillar.

    And pirate jokes. Don’t get me started on the pirate jokes.

  6. What is the best time to go to the dentist?
    When its tooth-hurty (2:30).

    Is chicken soup good for a cold?
    Not if you’re a chicken

    What’s the best way to communicate with a hot dog?
    Be frank.

    Sorry these are really corny.
    Please tell me pirate jokes Susan.

  7. Have you heard about the new pirate movie?
    It’s rated ARRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

    Do you know which Star Wars character a pirate likes best?
    ARRRRRRRRR-2 D2.

    A pirate walks into a bar with a big ship’s wheel down his pants. The bartender says, “Excuse me, sir, but do you know you have a ship’s wheel down the front of your pants?”
    And the pirate says, “ARRRRRRRR, it’s driving me nuts!”

  8. Well, Bryce is poaching from Garrison Keillor, so I’ll join him.

    How do you get a Unitarian family to move out of town?
    Burn a question mark in their lawn.

  9. Guy goes into the doctors office with mashed potatoes in his hair, carrot sticks up his nose, and green beans hanging out of his ears.

    “What’s wrong with me doc?” he asks.

    “Simple,” says the doctor, “You’re not eating right.”

  10. Susan, your last pirate joke was the best. I have a very similar one.

    A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office clothed only in saran wrap.

    The doctor looks at him and says, “I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

  11. flanders, that’s the same joke that ted leo told at the show susan and i were at.

    here’s one for you…

    president bush is in a daily meeting w/ several of his advisors and cabinet members. donald rumsfeld starts out by giving a briefing on iraq.

    “mr. president,” he says, “yesterday was not a good day in iraq. there were several suicide bombs detonated in baghdad, and in one of them three brazilians were killed.”

    “that’s awful,” said the president, clearly shaken by the news. he puts his head down and looks like he’s about to start weeping at the news.

    he then looks at rumsfeld and asks, “exactly how many make up one brazilian?”

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